Almost three years of grad school, and four and a half years of college, have taught me that nothing kills the Christmas spirit faster than finals time.
Sure, in high-school, we had finals (and later in December, too), but so much of high-school life revolves around social events and Christmas revelry that its not hard to catch the spirit of Christmas, even if that dreaded Chem II test is right around the corner. As a "mega-nerd," I always had the annual choir and debate team Christmas parties to look forward to, as well as other pertinent social obligations, dictated by whomever I happened to be dating at the time.
At my parent's home, the Christmas tree (after we splurged and bought a tasteful artificial one) usually went up either the day of or day after Thanksgiving. Even amid end-of-the-semester wackiness, an eclectic Christmas tree and cheerful display of stockings greeted me as I hurried in through the front door. For a few years, I even decorated my room with Christmas lights, stringing multi-colored strands (my favorite) around the legs and railings of my loft bed.
And then--I went away to college. Celebrating the season of Yule presents many challenges while in pursing higher education. After Thanksgiving, finals were a but a wink away and then we were required to vacate our dorm rooms until classes resumed in mid-January. Stringing Christmas lights in one's dorm room proved to be much time and frustration (because packing tape doesn't stick to cement-block walls) for little enjoyment. Friends scatter to the four winds after the completion of finals, and classmates and roommates disappear without so much as a "Merry Christmas."
Of course, the consolation for a lack of Christmas preparation at the college is that you get to return home where, if you are so fortunate, the tree and stockings and egg-nog await.
Ironically, I have had the hardest time "getting into the Christmas Spirit" while at seminary. Surely at seminary, Christmas/Advent would be a focus, sorta like the 4th of July is celebrated brightest and best in Washington, D.C. We expect our nation's capitol to model for us what it means to be patriotic, proud, and exuberant. Likewise, shouldn't our seminaries better model for us what it means to wait in expectant hope for the coming Christ child?
And in truth, the seminary I attend does its best. There are scattered parties, sing-a-longs, etc. The administration and community does what it can. But it is one of the hard facts of seminary life that the looming dread associated with final exams and papers extinguishes holiday cheer faster than you can sing "Silent Night." We weep, gnash teeth, rend garments until our work is done and we are able to return to the homes from whence we came. By the time we turn in work, collapse from exhaustion, board planes, drive cars, go home (or similar), see family and friends, we look up at our calendars and realize that is is January 6th and Christmas is over.
Christmas is a mere 9 days away and instead of Christmas lights, my room is littered with fragments of an exegesis paper. Books, lying open, too exhausted to hoist themselves on my bookshelf, clutter my floor. The only sign of Christmas is the two Christmas cards pinned to my bulletin board. Alone, neglected, dusty, and forgotten--a Rubbermaid storage bin hides in the corner of my closet. Inside it lies more Christmas decorations than a seminary dorm room can hold, but, as I look around my room, I see no place to display my wares. It seems that the Holy family may have to remain a hidden family, if I don't clear off enough counter space.
I used to love Christmas, but that was when I felt I had a home. These days, I feel more like a "wayfaring stranger," not yet an adult, but no longer a child. How does one celebrate Christmas in Limbo, when I have the ornaments for a tree, but no tree on which to display them? How do I celebrate Christmas when my stocking has no mantel nor hook on which to hang? Nine days to Christmas, and I have yet to buy a single gift, or send a card, or watch the Grinch attempt a holiday misdemeanor, or witness Linus recite from the Gospel according to St. Luke.
Perhaps I'll find my Christmas spirit. Perhaps it will hit me like a "stake of holly through my heart," as Dickens once said. Or maybe it will come and go, gentle and rolling as the tide, as ordinary and unassuming as all the days of the year. But then--isn't it when we least expect it, that something miraculous occurs?
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Seven Tidbits About Mere!
Kendra tagged me with this exercise and I regret that I have been somewhat delayed in my response. Here goes:
Seven Interesting Things About Me (my childhood?)
1. When I was in junior high, I had the outlandish idea to dye my hair with red food coloring. Yes, the same type of food coloring that you find in those tiny dropper tubes and stick around in your pantry for what seems like eons. Somewhere, perhaps in a TEEN magazine, I read about temporarily dying one's hair with Kool-Aid and had, on previous occasions, successfully tinted my hair blue-greenish by immersing my short, dirty-blond head into the bathroom sink. Anyway, the day had come when I decided to boldly dye my bond hair red and then proudly sport my alterna-grunge-rock 'do at school.
The night before, I carefully applied a mixture of red Kool-Aid/red food coloring. When my hair finally achieved the desired "atomic fire ball" countenance, I went to bed and awaited the next day when surely, I would wow my peers with my undeniable coolness, as well as supreme ballsy-ness.
Donning my best "grunge wear" (flannel shirt, boots, jeans) I proudly and boldly boarded the bus to school ignoring the stares of the other passengers. When I arrived at school, I felt a little like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever--you know, when he's walking down the street, looking impossibly cool.
But then it was time for gym class. Being that it was September, and the weather was still warm-hot, we played soccer outside for gym. I ran around, chasing the infernal checkered sphere. I became sweaty, but didn't think anything about it. Class ended, and we dahsed inside to change out of our gym uniforms.
That's when I saw it: large red spots, like crimson teardrops, on my white gym t-shirt. Shit! My hair was sweating out the food coloring! I panicked, try to cool myself off. It was time for lunch so I had no choice but to get out of my uniform and back into my grunge clothes. Despite my efforts, my red-tinted sweat continued to rain upon my shoulders. A classmate noticed. "Hey, you're sweating red!" Other students begin to ridicule me, both to my face, and behind my back. I begin wailing, my salty tears mixing with the dyed ones.
Upon recommendation from a friend, I go the school nurse and she lets me rinse out my hair in her sink. The red dye was EVERYWHERE, all over her sink, all over my clothes. She makes me visit the school counselor, who attempted to console me, but was basically ineffective. I end up missing lunch, so I grab a Little Debbie Cake and hurry off to my science class, wet hair (but dye-free).
Ok, that was a long story. The rest will be shorter...
2. When I was in elementary school, I was convinced that I one, day, would be the first female president.
3. On a similar note, I was obsessed with Hillary Clinton in fifth grade. I had all these Hilary Clinton buttons that I would wear on my sweater vests or book bag. A Clinton/Gore bumper sticker graced the cover of my school binder. Other kids made fun of me...
4. My favorite Halloween costume as a kid? Annie Oakley. She was a western sharpshooter that made a name for herself traveling with Buffalo Bill Cody in Wild West Shows. My mother made me a faux leather skirt and vest and I sported a plastic rifle.
5. I remember knowing all the words to UT's fight song, "The Eyes of Texas," by age five.
6. Going to library, for my family, was a natural as breathing, a regular part of the rhythm of our lives. I knew how to work the library databases even as young kid, and adults would often ask me how to use the library search engine.
7. Before "I discerned a call to ministry," I wanted to be an environmental engineer. The summer between 8th and 9th grade, I earned a spot to attend a summer camp at Texas A&M, sponsored by the Society of Women Engineers. The week ended up teaching me that I never wanted to attend A&M (too cultish!) and that I never, ever, wanted to be an engineer.
Now I tag: Ryan, Monica, Carrie
Seven Interesting Things About Me (my childhood?)
1. When I was in junior high, I had the outlandish idea to dye my hair with red food coloring. Yes, the same type of food coloring that you find in those tiny dropper tubes and stick around in your pantry for what seems like eons. Somewhere, perhaps in a TEEN magazine, I read about temporarily dying one's hair with Kool-Aid and had, on previous occasions, successfully tinted my hair blue-greenish by immersing my short, dirty-blond head into the bathroom sink. Anyway, the day had come when I decided to boldly dye my bond hair red and then proudly sport my alterna-grunge-rock 'do at school.
The night before, I carefully applied a mixture of red Kool-Aid/red food coloring. When my hair finally achieved the desired "atomic fire ball" countenance, I went to bed and awaited the next day when surely, I would wow my peers with my undeniable coolness, as well as supreme ballsy-ness.
Donning my best "grunge wear" (flannel shirt, boots, jeans) I proudly and boldly boarded the bus to school ignoring the stares of the other passengers. When I arrived at school, I felt a little like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever--you know, when he's walking down the street, looking impossibly cool.
But then it was time for gym class. Being that it was September, and the weather was still warm-hot, we played soccer outside for gym. I ran around, chasing the infernal checkered sphere. I became sweaty, but didn't think anything about it. Class ended, and we dahsed inside to change out of our gym uniforms.
That's when I saw it: large red spots, like crimson teardrops, on my white gym t-shirt. Shit! My hair was sweating out the food coloring! I panicked, try to cool myself off. It was time for lunch so I had no choice but to get out of my uniform and back into my grunge clothes. Despite my efforts, my red-tinted sweat continued to rain upon my shoulders. A classmate noticed. "Hey, you're sweating red!" Other students begin to ridicule me, both to my face, and behind my back. I begin wailing, my salty tears mixing with the dyed ones.
Upon recommendation from a friend, I go the school nurse and she lets me rinse out my hair in her sink. The red dye was EVERYWHERE, all over her sink, all over my clothes. She makes me visit the school counselor, who attempted to console me, but was basically ineffective. I end up missing lunch, so I grab a Little Debbie Cake and hurry off to my science class, wet hair (but dye-free).
Ok, that was a long story. The rest will be shorter...
2. When I was in elementary school, I was convinced that I one, day, would be the first female president.
3. On a similar note, I was obsessed with Hillary Clinton in fifth grade. I had all these Hilary Clinton buttons that I would wear on my sweater vests or book bag. A Clinton/Gore bumper sticker graced the cover of my school binder. Other kids made fun of me...
4. My favorite Halloween costume as a kid? Annie Oakley. She was a western sharpshooter that made a name for herself traveling with Buffalo Bill Cody in Wild West Shows. My mother made me a faux leather skirt and vest and I sported a plastic rifle.
5. I remember knowing all the words to UT's fight song, "The Eyes of Texas," by age five.
6. Going to library, for my family, was a natural as breathing, a regular part of the rhythm of our lives. I knew how to work the library databases even as young kid, and adults would often ask me how to use the library search engine.
7. Before "I discerned a call to ministry," I wanted to be an environmental engineer. The summer between 8th and 9th grade, I earned a spot to attend a summer camp at Texas A&M, sponsored by the Society of Women Engineers. The week ended up teaching me that I never wanted to attend A&M (too cultish!) and that I never, ever, wanted to be an engineer.
Now I tag: Ryan, Monica, Carrie
Monday, October 15, 2007
Movie Time!
The seminary has a week off for "Fall Break" and I have used this breather from the frenetic pace of the semester to catch up on my movie watching. In the past four days, I have seen four movies, possibly the most consecutive movie watching I have done since I had bronchitis two years ago.
Movie #1: Superbad
I saw Superbad at the Alamo Drafthouse, which I consider to be the most appropriate locale for such a cinegraphic experience. I split a pitcher of Shiner with a fellow moviegoer and I am convinced the slight beer-induced buzz only added to the overall hilarity of the film.
"Superbad" will not win any Academy Awards--hardly a minute passes without visual or spoken vulgarity--but despite its outrageous teen-sex-romp veneer, the movie is one of the most honest depictions of teenage "frustrations" (societal or otherwise) since the first American Pie movie. Anyway, I liked it and laughed until I cried. If you go see it, be sure to stay through the credits.
Verdict: 2 beers up!
Movie #2: Knocked Up
In keeping with our Judd Apatow theme, Ryan and I finally were able to snag a copy of "Knocked Up" from the local Blockbuster. Knocked-Up is sorta like Apatow's other movies in that the story focuses on a hapless man-child who is suddenly forced into adulthood. It seems to me that an increasing number of movies are focusing on the existential crises of men in the late 20's (i.e, The Last Kiss). Is this merely the manifestation of a post-modern, Gen X and or/Y angst? But I digress. KU is hilarious and offers a bit 'o something for everybody (love story for the sentimental types, drug-sex humor for rest of us). I have new respect for the acting abilities of Mr. Seth Rogan and hope to see him in more movies.
Verdict: Knocked Up is a knockout!
Movie #3: The Darjeeling Limited
Confession time: I'm not a huge Wes Anderson fan. I find his films a little too self-indulgent for my taste. But the fiance wanted to see it and hey, I'll watch any movie starring Adrian Brody (sorry Ryan, but if Adrian comes a knockin' on my dorm room door...just kidding).
Darjeeling Ltd. is probably the most beautiful movie I have seen in recent memory. The colors, costumes, camera angles--all typical of a Wes Anderson flick--are outstanding. I now want to travel India in a crowded railroad sleeper car. The three main actors in the movie--Jason Schwartzman, Adrian Brody, and Owen Wilson--have a quirky chemistry that seems all the more real because of the eccentricities of each character. And the soundtrack kicks ass, too.
Verdict: It's a Darjeeling of a movie!
Movie #4: Mona Lisa Smile
Checked this one out from the school library. This movie was as shallow as Darjeeling Ltd. was provocative. Its attempt at promoting feminism was, at best, weak; I liked it the first time, when it was called "Dead Poets Society."
Verdict: Van Gogh far away from this one!
Movie #1: Superbad
I saw Superbad at the Alamo Drafthouse, which I consider to be the most appropriate locale for such a cinegraphic experience. I split a pitcher of Shiner with a fellow moviegoer and I am convinced the slight beer-induced buzz only added to the overall hilarity of the film.
"Superbad" will not win any Academy Awards--hardly a minute passes without visual or spoken vulgarity--but despite its outrageous teen-sex-romp veneer, the movie is one of the most honest depictions of teenage "frustrations" (societal or otherwise) since the first American Pie movie. Anyway, I liked it and laughed until I cried. If you go see it, be sure to stay through the credits.
Verdict: 2 beers up!
Movie #2: Knocked Up
In keeping with our Judd Apatow theme, Ryan and I finally were able to snag a copy of "Knocked Up" from the local Blockbuster. Knocked-Up is sorta like Apatow's other movies in that the story focuses on a hapless man-child who is suddenly forced into adulthood. It seems to me that an increasing number of movies are focusing on the existential crises of men in the late 20's (i.e, The Last Kiss). Is this merely the manifestation of a post-modern, Gen X and or/Y angst? But I digress. KU is hilarious and offers a bit 'o something for everybody (love story for the sentimental types, drug-sex humor for rest of us). I have new respect for the acting abilities of Mr. Seth Rogan and hope to see him in more movies.
Verdict: Knocked Up is a knockout!
Movie #3: The Darjeeling Limited
Confession time: I'm not a huge Wes Anderson fan. I find his films a little too self-indulgent for my taste. But the fiance wanted to see it and hey, I'll watch any movie starring Adrian Brody (sorry Ryan, but if Adrian comes a knockin' on my dorm room door...just kidding).
Darjeeling Ltd. is probably the most beautiful movie I have seen in recent memory. The colors, costumes, camera angles--all typical of a Wes Anderson flick--are outstanding. I now want to travel India in a crowded railroad sleeper car. The three main actors in the movie--Jason Schwartzman, Adrian Brody, and Owen Wilson--have a quirky chemistry that seems all the more real because of the eccentricities of each character. And the soundtrack kicks ass, too.
Verdict: It's a Darjeeling of a movie!
Movie #4: Mona Lisa Smile
Checked this one out from the school library. This movie was as shallow as Darjeeling Ltd. was provocative. Its attempt at promoting feminism was, at best, weak; I liked it the first time, when it was called "Dead Poets Society."
Verdict: Van Gogh far away from this one!
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