Lessons Taught by My SPM

What I've learned from my SPM (so far):

1) The church secretary is the true authority. S/he is the keeper of the keys, the source of all wisdom and knowledge. Though the pastors come and go, the secretary is the life-force of the church. Do not, under any circumstance, cross the secretary for though they are often slow to anger, their wrath is mighty!

2) No one really cares about sermon form, or how perfectly you execute a Lowry loop or a "Craddock." All they care about is whether or not they can hear you. Because if they can't understand you, then you might as well be preaching from a cookbook.

3) MapQuest is a pastor's best friend. What a friend we have in MapQuest!

4) Church coffee generally sucks, but I drink it anyway because it's available, free, and the caffeine gives me that extra shot of energy I need for the early service.

5) I still do my best sermon writing at Starbucks (since there is no JP's Java near the church).

6) Church goers are generally quick to forgive, like when you bungle the words of institution or struggle to explain the salient points of Liberation Theology, but this should never inspire an attitude of complacency. I see congregational forgiveness as a theological-liturgical safety net, but one should always strive for the best.

7) The words that remind me why I love what I do: "I've never thought of it that way before."

8) The words that make me want to pack up and move to another continent and assume a new identity: "I thought your sermon was boring."

9) I realize now how crucial a peer group is to one's mental well-being.