Forgive...As We Forgive

The hardest facet of my seminary education has not been deciphering the ramblings of German theologians, my feeble attempts at memorizing countless ancient church councils, or even performing basic exegetical work (which, at least for me, is always an exercise in futility). Though trying to succeed academically while perpetually discerning God’s call all while juggling various ordination requirements certainly is daunting, I would not say that these challenges are what constitute the hardest part of my seminary education.

The hardest part, my friends, is living in community with fellow seminarians.

Sometimes I wonder if, because most of us are incipient pastors, we expect ourselves to be constantly pious and holy, much like saints in religious iconography. Because we are called by God to preach the Word, we feel that we must always be perfect, that this Seminary community should always be a shiny, happy place, where "troubles melt like lemon-drops," and all can hold hands and sing Kum Ba Yah. In this fabled Seminary-land, the denizens should not swear, nor should they be crabby, or rude to their sisters and brothers in Christ, or have doubts, or be stressed, or gossip, or hurt other people’s feelings.

Of course, we are sometimes crabby, even hateful. We gossip. We have doubts and are stressed and sometimes feel unloved and excluded, perhaps even out of God’s grace and the grace of this community.

Therefore, I am hereby swearing to be more mindful of always participating in the “Circle of Grace.” I am [surprisingly] not always perfect; therefore, I must rely on the grace of my sisters and brothers to forgive me when I am not exactly living into the reality of the Kingdom of God. However—I must also extend this grace to others. As God has forgiven us, so shall we forgive others.

So—to all whom I may have hurt, let down, or wronged in any fashion, I humbly ask your forgiveness. I apologize for being petty, catty, and two-faced. During this season of Lent, I am in a phase of serious self-reflection and am attempting to discern the areas of my life that are spiritually lacking. I pray that we all may become more patient with ourselves and each other; this spiritual journey is not easy, and we need to support ourselves with the love and Grace we have been given by God.

Peace.